Brazillion

The defense minister is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“Oh, no!” the president exclaims. “That’s terrible!”

His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.

Finally, the president looks up and asks: “How many is a brazillion?”

Don’t care

A guy walked into a coffee shop and saw George W. Bush and Colin Powell sitting together. He introduced himself and asked Bush: “How goes the war effort, sir?”

President Bush answered: “We’re getting ready to kill 40 million Iraqis and one blonde.”

The guy asked in astonishment: “Why are you killing one blonde?”

Bush turned to Powell and said: “See, I told you people wouldn’t care about Iraqis.”

Computer problem

Customer: I cleaned my computer and now it doesn’t work.

Repairman: What did you clean it with?

Customer: Soap and water.

Repairman: Don’t you know you’re not supposed to mess a computer with water?

Customer: It wasn’t the water that caused the problem. I think it was the spin dryer!