Wu Guangqiang

    “KENLAOZU” has become a buzzword in the Chinese language. Its English equivalent is “boomerang children.” A survey conducted by China Research Center on Aging shows that the phenomenon of “elderly parents supporting grown-up children” exists in more than 65 percent of Chinese families and 30 percent of grown-up children rely on parents’ financial support.

    Many Chinese parents are faced with an embarrassing dilemma: whether to live alone, with no company at all, or to live with a child who should be living on his or her own. Either situation is undesirable. Most Chinese urban parents have only one child, so they go all out to give all they can afford to their beloved offspring, in the hope of creating a bright future for him or her.

    The moment of seeing the child leave home for college or employment marks the beginning of the empty-nest life for parents and, in many cases, signals a miserable experience. An old lady I knew well had a sad story. She had once taken great pride in her son and daughter — both studied in the United States and now live there. After her husband died, however, she had to take care of herself. She fell seriously ill last year and passed away shortly afterwards. Sadly, she died with no loved ones by her side — neither of the children returned to care for her.

    Being an empty-nester is a lonely business. But what if your child comes home to haunt you, armed with a plea to “stay a few weeks” — or even a few years — after he has completed his education and is supposed to earn his own bread?

    That’s the quandary facing many Chinese parents in an age when the high costs of housing and a changing society have sent many adult “boomerang children” back home again to live with their parents.

    Luo Yi, 23, works in a foreign trade company in Shanghai. She receives a monthly “double salary,” which consists of 2,000 yuan (US$316) from her employer and another 1,000 yuan from her parents.

    “As a fresh graduate, I can’t cover the costs of rent, transportation and meals with my meager income,” grumbled Luo. “To lead a decent life in a city like Shanghai, I have no choice but to beg my parents for help.”

    Newlywed IT engineer Wang Gang has just bought a new apartment in a suburb of Shenzhen. Despite his good salary, the exorbitant housing prices forced him to turn to his parents for aid. The retired parents footed the down payment of 300,000 yuan (US$47,430) — their life savings.

    In fact, of all my college classmates who now have a home-buying child, hardly any have not reached out a helping hand with wads of money.

    While an adult child’s temporary stay with parents before moving out to start a comfy family might be a minor inconvenience, the child’s permanent presence is definitely an agony. “Shengnu” and “shengnan” (literally meaning: leftover women and men — those who remain single well beyond traditional marriage ages) are constantly enlarging the ranks of boomerang children. For various reasons, a growing number of men and women are choosing to remain unmarried.

    Boomerang children may bring their parents some joy by keeping them company, but parents sacrifice more: money, time, labor, health and mental suffering. Some children’s company is an unwanted torment for their parents; they cling to their parents simply because they are escaping from competition, or worse, addicted to online games.

    As the issue increasingly takes a toll on senior citizens, some pundits have come up with proposals to deal with it. Jing Tiankui, a member of CPPCC, China’s top advisory body, has proposed to deprive “kenlaozu” of their rights to social welfare benefits. This seems too harsh and impractical. But legislation is a way out. The Regulations on Guaranteeing the Rights of the Elderly of Jiangsu Province, promulgated in 2011, stipulate the rights of the elderly, including denial of demands for financial aid from a financially independent adult child.

    The ideal solution to this issue lies in joint efforts of many parties: a fair chance for personal development, affordable living costs, an enhanced awareness of caring for the elderly, and better laws.

    (The author is an English tutor and a freelance writer. He can be reached at jw368@163.com.)