Can I borrow your...

Johnson: Are you using your mower this afternoon?

Smith: Yes.

Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won’t be needing it?

Travel expenses

A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.

The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The businessman then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said: “We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?”

The businessman replied: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?”

(SD-Agencies)

Don’t want Him to know

A distinguished clergyman and the elders from his congregation attended an out-of-town meeting that did not finish until rather late. They decided to have something to eat before goint home, but unfortunately the only spot open was a seedy bar-and-grill with a questionable reputation.｡｡

After being served, one of the elders asked the clergyman to say grace.

“I’d rather not,” the clergyman said, “I don’t want Him to know I’m here.”