A cow grazing

    A visitor is puzzled at a painting on exhibition. There is nothing on the canvas. He feels he has to ask the artist about it.

    Visitor: What’s the painting about?

    Artist: That, sir, is a cow grazing.

    Visitor: Where is the grass?

    Artist: The cow has eaten it.

    Visitor: But where is the cow?

    Artist: You don’t suppose she’d be fool enough to stay there after she’d eaten all the grass,do you?

    Wife’s picture

    A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.

    After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.

    The bartender says: “Look, buddy, why do you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill?”

    The man replies: “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it’s time to go home.”

    Applying for a job

    Fred was applying for a job as a flagman/switch operator on the railroad. The chief engineer was conducting the interview.

    “What would you do if the Northern Express was heading north on Track 1 and the Southern Central was heading south on Track 1?”

    Fred quickly answered: “Well, I’d call my brother.”

    “Why would you call your brother?”

    “He’s never seen a train wreck before.”