Chapter XII

    The rain had stopped before we reached home. It wasn’t very late, and I could still see the sun sinking slowly. A magnificent view, beautiful for its ephemerality, the swan song of the finest Stradivari violin before breaking on the brightest note. The difference is that the sun always comes up in the eastern sky in its youth while when a musical movement ends, it never returns.

    The laurel tree was now in full bloom. I hadn’t noticed it when I left the house that morning, and yet, the tiny little blossoms unfolded every piece of their ivory petals and proudly displayed their star-like filaments inside. The tree was half veiled in the invading shade while the rest was grasping desperately for the last of the dying sunlight until it was devoured entirely in the arching darkness of Erebus.

    I began to frantically look for my paintbrush and pigments. I hadn’t used them for a long time, and I knew Ms. Davis wouldn’t bother putting them elsewhere. They should be buried somewhere deep in one of my drawers. I finally found them. I closed my eyes so I could see the laurel tree again, and then I sat at my easel and started painting.

    I have no idea how long I sat there. When I finished, the moon was way up high in the sky, shining brightly in the ink-dipped sky. I hadn’t heard a thing, though I suspected that Ms. Davis had knocked on my door a million times until she finally gave up and had dinner without me. The picture I painted was almost entirely blue; the slight differences in color were only distinguishable by the saturation of the color. I could not say whether I was pleased with the effect, only that I was completely exhausted. Painting a picture is like when a great flood behind a dam is about to explode, and when it finally breaks through, it lays ruin to everything in its way until everything succumbs to sheer annihilation. When it’s over, nothing is left.

    I hid the painting behind the easel, held up by some clips so it could dry. I had gradually made it a habit to keep everything a secret even when there was no reason to. As I walked out into the living room, I was surprised to find that there was no one home except for me. Mom was out quite often as of late; as for Ms. Davis, who cared where she was. I went to the refrigerator, warmed some milk, drank it, took a shower, and went to bed.