The court’s decision

    “Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife US$775 a week.”

    “That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

    Thanks, Dad

    The boss called one of his employees into the office. “Rob,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice chairman. Now it’s time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to that?”

    “Thanks,” said the employee.

    “Thanks?” the boss was taken aback. “Is that all you can say?”

    “I suppose not,” the employee said. “Thanks, Dad.”

    What did you say?

    Three retirees, each with hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, “Windy, isn’t it?”

    “No,” the second man replied, “it’s Thursday.”

    And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let’s have a beer.”