Confused thieves

Two would-be robbers left a convenience store empty-handed after getting into an argument about the contents of a note they handed to the clerk. The two entered the convenience store in a small town. They left the store and came back a few minutes later. One of them handed the clerk a note saying, in part, “put it in the bag.” When the clerk said she didn’t understand what that meant, the man who handed her the note said he didn’t know either because his buddy wrote it. The two men began to argue and left.

I cannot pass the test

A Virginia state trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia state line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Beckley, West Virginia to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn’t want to be late. The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn’t give him a ticket. The driver said he had sent his equipment ahead and didn’t have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got five flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy from West Virginia got out, watched the performance briefly, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper went over and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, “You might as well take me to jail, because there is no way I can pass that test.”