FOR Shanghai people, finding the right match for a marriage is a vital step for both the couple and their families and marrying someone from outside the city can prove problematic for a number of reasons. The Global Times took to the street and asked a few citizens how they felt about this girl and her attitude.

    Lily, 40, Shanghai

    This Shanghai girl is fickle. At best now they can only be friends and not partners because their feelings aren’t strong enough. The Shanghai girl doesn’t necessarily dislike poor people but she might need time to accept the new situation.

    You can’t blame Shanghai girls for feeling they are naturally superior and worth more — Shanghai’s property prices are much higher than most other cities. Good hardworking men can win the hands of local girls.

    I really don’t see the need for non-Shanghainese parents to have to empty their wallets to try match the haughty Shanghainese.

    Xiao Lin, 65, Jiangxi

    I come from Jiangxi Province and have been married to a Shanghai woman for more than 40 years.

    I have worked here since I graduated. I can understand the girl’s reaction, but the way she behaved was wrong. Leaving the table during the dinner would have embarrassed her boyfriend’s family. And she shouldn’t have shared the experience online.

    I don’t agree with men from other provinces marrying Shanghai women. I can’t divorce my wife now, but if I could have, back when we were in our 20s, I wouldn’t have stayed with my wife. We do love each other, but she expected me to behave and live like a Shanghai man, and asked me to change my lifestyle and habits. This often made me really angry and uncomfortable.

    My wife used to tell me to wear leather shoes and nice clothes when we went out together otherwise she felt she would lose face. She also used to tell me to speak and behave like I was upper class. Shanghai women are also obsessed with the way men behave and I have had to endure this for the past 40 years. I’m tired out now.

    Now I am retired I really want to go back to my hometown and live in my house alone — far away from my over-controlling Shanghai wife.

    Liu Leiming, 22, Shanghai

    I can understand the girl’s reaction, and how disappointed she was when she saw the shabby dinner at her boyfriend’s home. It costs a lot to live in Shanghai and this is why most local women attach so much importance to their partner’s financial state.

    The Shanghai culture also encourages its people to look for good things and aim for higher living standards — this makes some local people look down on poor people.

    Shanghai girls wouldn’t usually go out with non-local men, let alone men from country areas, so the girl’s boyfriend must have looked all right and had the right abilities, education and character. If the girl could accept her boyfriend’s good points and accept his family background, they could have stayed together and worked for a better future. But if she couldn’t, it’s probably for the best that they break up now.

    Some of my friends have gone out with girls from outside the city and there are problems. My best friend told me that a girlfriend from Northern China didn’t shower every day, and only showered once a week in winter and he couldn’t stand that. I don’t think this is a big problem because we should respect the way other people live. One of the great things about Shanghai culture is the way it can absorb anything and everything. (Global Times)