-
Advertorial
-
FOCUS
-
Guide
-
Lifestyle
-
Tech and Vogue
-
TechandScience
-
CHTF Special
-
Nanshan
-
Futian Today
-
Hit Bravo
-
Special Report
-
Junior Journalist Program
-
World Economy
-
Opinion
-
Diversions
-
Hotels
-
Movies
-
People
-
Person of the week
-
Weekend
-
Photo Highlights
-
Currency Focus
-
Kaleidoscope
-
Tech and Science
-
News Picks
-
Yes Teens
-
Budding Writers
-
Fun
-
Campus
-
Glamour
-
News
-
Digital Paper
-
Food drink
-
Majors_Forum
-
Speak Shenzhen
-
Shopping
-
Business_Markets
-
Restaurants
-
Travel
-
Investment
-
Hotels
-
Yearend Review
-
World
-
Sports
-
Entertainment
-
QINGDAO TODAY
-
In depth
-
Leisure Highlights
-
Markets
-
Business
-
Culture
-
China
-
Shenzhen
-
Important news
在线翻译:
szdaily -> Opinion -> 
Red envelopes for weddings a burden
    2016-02-22  08:53    Shenzhen Daily

    Lei Xiangping

    lagon235@163.com

    IN China, when people attend weddings, they usually give red envelopes that contain “lucky money” as gifts. They also write on the envelopes blessings like “hope you have a baby soon” and sign it with their name. This helps the new couple decide how much money they should give back if the money givers ever get married in the future.

    As a tradition, money in red envelopes is meant as an auspicious gift for new couples. However, since people are having to give much more money than ever before when attending weddings, this tradition is becoming a heavy burden for ordinary people.

    To attend weddings, the amount of gift money has been soaring rapidly. My mother said that 10 years ago she only had to give 100 yuan (US$15) or 200 yuan, depending on the degree of intimacy, to new couples. However, in recent years, the minimum amount is 500 yuan in my hometown. My friends have to significantly cut their expenses if they have to attend several weddings a month.

    The People’s Daily reported in 2013 that one rural family made nearly 20,000 yuan a year, but had to spend 9,600 yuan on social activities like attending weddings. A report released by Southeast China University of Finance and Economics in 2012 showed that ordinary Chinese families spent over 20 percent of their annual incomes on activities like attending weddings. As wedding costs quickly rise, it is no surprise that the percentage has increased.

    Speaking from my own experience, the more gift money I received for my wedding, the more stressed I felt. My wife and I registered for marriage last September. Instead of preparing for a wedding, we had initially planned to travel to Europe because inviting friends and relatives to a neatly prepared wedding is expensive for ourselves and our guests, who have to give a large sum of gift money.

    However, after two months of resisting the idea of organizing a wedding, I was persuaded by my parents by their “compelling” reasons. They insisted it was traditional etiquette to invite relatives and friends to attend a wedding so that guests can witness the happy moment of tying the knot. Also, they had already given lots of money to friends and relatives for their weddings over the years. If I don’t have a wedding of my own, they won’t get that money back.

    After the wedding, we found the reasons that my parents used to persuade me are not that cogent. When my wife and I calculated how much had been spent on the wedding and how much had been given to us by guests, the result astonished me. Although we took in slightly more money than what was spent, the margin will be greatly dwarfed by the amount of money we will have to give back to guests who get married in the future.

    Wedding organizers spend lots of money on food, drinks, cigarettes and wedding venues. In the short term, organizing a wedding isn’t a losing business because of the gift money. However, after considering the money that we will now have to give in the future, we will definitely end up “in the red” financially in the long run.

    

    Even though getting married is an important occasion, I don’t understand the need to spend so much money. Why can’t we just do it in an economical way to save money for the new couple and their guests?

    However, this is just not the Chinese way. China is a relation-based society, or “renqing shehui,” and nobody can live well without help from others. A Chinese proverb says, “Propriety suggests reciprocity,” which means one-way giving won’t sustain a relationship — only reciprocity is welcomed. This belief, which has lasted for centuries, is still influencing our daily behaviors.

    Many Chinese know that maintaining a relationship takes lots of money and energy, but they feel they can’t do without it. So, everyone spends lots of money organizing weddings and attending weddings. When people start bucking this trend, it is not only embarrassing, but also risks hard-won relationship networks.

    My American friend Dan and his wife got married on a beach in Thailand, without any financial support from their relatives or friends, and they said they were very happy. But for my wife and me, marriage meant being surrounded by relatives and friends, getting red envelopes from them and sharing a drink, which are all ways of sustaining relationships. I really didn’t want any money on my wedding day, but I can’t escape this tradition.

    (The author is a News Desk editor with China Radio International.)

深圳报业集团版权所有, 未经授权禁止复制; Copyright 2010, All Rights Reserved.
Shenzhen Daily E-mail:szdaily@szszd.com.cn