I’ll drink later Two guys were caught in a minor accident on the highway. No one was injured and no serious damage was done. One pulled a bottle of vodka from his trunk and gave it to the other. “Nothing serious, buddy, you could use a drink to calm down,” he said. The other took a gulp and gave it back to the first one. “Thanks, buddy, won’t you take a gulp too?” The first guy said, “I’ll drink later, after the cop has left.” Reckless driver The husband is driving when he receives a phone call from his wife. “I heard from the radio that a car is driving in the wrong direction on the highway. Please be careful,” the woman said. “I am being very careful,” the husband said. “Several hundred cars are driving in the wrong direction on the highway.” Mental hospital A new guy in the mental hospital shouted, “I’m the president and you all have to take commands from me.” The doctor asked, “Who made you the president?” The guy answered, “God made me.” Another guy jumped at the answer and shouted, “I never did!” |