Almighty God!

    The customs staffer asked an old lady, “What’s in your bottle?”

    The lady said, “It’s holy water from a church.” The staffer removed the cork, and it smelled of alcohol. “Isn’t it liquor?” he asked.

    The old lady cried, “Wow, almighty God!”

    Unfinished joke

    Someone told a joke, “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”

    “And that woman was my mother!”

    A man tried to tell the joke to his wife who was preparing dinner. He said, “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!” Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, he finally blurted out, “And I can’t remember who she was!”