Kangaroo high jump

Q:Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

A: Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Crossing a field

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

Nightmare

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Open window

Sleep with an open window tonight! 1400 mosquitos liked it. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared it. One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.