Annoyed judge

A defendant isn’t happy with how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.

Judge: “Where do you work?”

Defendant: “Here and there.”

Judge: “What do you do for a living?”

Defendant: “This and that.”

Judge: “Take him away.”

Defendant: “Wait! When will I get out?”

Judge: “Sooner or later.”

Dumb burglar

While on patrol, a policeman arrested a burglar who had injured himself running from a home.

He told the policeman he had broken in and unhooked the phone before searching for valuables.

But he had panicked when he heard a woman’s voice. The policeman entered the house and heard the same voice: “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again.”