First movie

A little kid goes to his first movie alone. He buys one ticket and goes in.

A minute later, he comes back out to buy another ticket. The man at the counter asks, “Why do you want another one?”

The kid replies, “Because that man over there ripped the first one in half.”

Voices

A teacher asked a pupil a question, but she could barely hear the child speaking since the other kids were making too much noise. In an attempt to quiet them, she said, “I can hear voices!”

Two janitors outside heard the teacher and one said to the other, “Jeez, she’d better stop telling the kids about her mental problems!”

New word

Teacher: Has anyone heard of the word “expensive?”

Lily: Yes!

Teacher: When?

Lily: Just right now!