A long journey

Two men are talking on a bus.

One says, “I’ve been riding this bus to work for 15 years now.”

Another says, “Lord Almighty, where did you get on?!”

Practice makes perfect

The doctor says to the patient, “Your coughing sounds much better.”

The patient replies, “And no wonder. I spent a lot of time practicing.”

In a shoe shop

Saleswoman: These shoes might be tight for the next two weeks.

Customer: Don’t worry. I’ll start wearing them on the third week.

Not funny

The guy who gives out food at the prison canteen asks, “Eat here or take away?”

The prisoner frowns, “Not funny, Marlon! Not funny at all!”