Feng Ping, University of Warsaw

Barcelona is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever visited. Antoni Gaudí’s masterpiece is colorful, and Picasso’s paintings used warm colors. The architecture in Barcelona is bright. On the roadsides, Chinese parasol trees and palms trees are planted. However, there was a past in my memory which was gray.

Seven years have passed. There was a past in Barcelona that was hanging in my mind, making me breathless with pain. I remembered that seven years ago, I couldn’t wait to come to Barcelona, sitting beside the beach, wondering if every day I could lie on the beach like this.

This time, my friend Zhi Gang came to Barcelona with me. I never treated him as someone beyond my friend, because in my heart, there was always somebody. That’s why I was sure to come to Barcelona, for the purpose of releasing myself.

Seven years ago, I just attended the university. I luckily got a chance to be an exchange student in the University of Warsaw. There was a lot of free time then.

In order to pass the boring spare time, I joined an English-speaking group. In the group, there was someone called “Sunshine.” His English was very good, which caught my attention. I was attracted by his sharp wisdom and good humor. I wanted to get to know him.

I boldly added him as a friend. His name is Wu Tianhao. When talking with me, he always used an arrogant tone. My wounded pride made me desperately want to impress him.

I exerted great effort to study English, inspired by him. I started to write in English in the QQ Zone, and he always made comments on each article. Every day in the morning, when I woke up, I couldn’t wait to read his comments on my article.

I wished to win his credit. I have seen his photos, handsome, but dressed in a simple style. Every day when I woke up in the morning, the first thing I did was chat with him. Seven hours’ time difference had become a sweet thing.

“If you want to become a writer, I suggest you read 100 classical novels,” He suggested. Then he sent me a file, in which there were 100 classical novels. My heart beat hard when I excitedly received his file.

We never webcammed with each other, but we only talked by voice.

In a flash of time, four months of exchange study life had come to an end. With the secret in my mind, I came to Barcelona, as the last trip in Europe. I was deeply attached to this city. After I came back, I made up my mind to write a novel based on my exchange experience.

Just to let him read it.

I wrote in my novel, “I loved the sea in Barcelona most. There was unfathomable sadness in the sea. Someone in your heart is so close, yet so far.”

He hungrishly finished reading my novel. He wrote to me, “Ying Ying, are you willing to make one step further? I wanted to meet you behind the computer.”

My heart throbbed fast. How I wished I could say “I am willing to.” However, something stopped me. I smiled, “I am afraid not.”

He didn’t give up. He wrote, “Let’s make an appointment. Next year, this time, on December 2. Let’s meet by the Barcelona seaside. I will bring your novel with me.”

Ok...

For one year, I was like someone who caught a fever, wishing that December 2 could arrive early. I could hardly sleep, or sit, always absentminded. The pages of the calendar turned. Finally that day was coming. To go or not to go? Anxiety tortured me. I sighed. I made an excuse not to go.

I dare not open the computer, afraid to see his message. One week later, I opened the computer.

He had gone to Barcelona, and sent me the photos. He blamed me to break the promise. “Why didn’t you come? I felt we two are just like two people standing by the two edges of Mediterranean Sea. I stood in the South, and you were in the North.”

I cried, crying hard. The tears were dropping down on the ground like beads. My eyes were swollen with weeping. I knew I had made a big mistake.

That was why seven years later, I have found time to come to Barcelona again. I have come with my friend Zhi Gang. The waves beat the beach and seawater splashed by the seaside, as if it wanted to take every dirty thing into the heart of the sea and bury them in the bottom. Zhi Gang was walking beside me on the wet sand, while I walked on the dry land. There was always one person’s distance between us.

“Ying Ying, you still can’t give him up?” Zhi Gang asked. “Now we are in Barcelona. Let’s shout at the sea and forget everything.” He waved his arms, and his voice submerged into the sea.

“How do you feel?” He asked me successively.

I smiled silently, without speaking a word.

“Shout at the sea. Just like me.”

“Ah...” I indeed shouted at the sea. I smiled.