Helpless student

A teacher asked a student to write 55.

Student: How?

Teacher: Write five and beside it another five!

The student wrote five and stopped.

Teacher: What are you waiting for?

Student: I don’t know which side to write the other five!

Goldfish

Two goldfish in a bowl are talking.

Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?

Goldfish 2: Of course, I do. Who do you think changes the water?

Three turtles

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, “Oh, come on, let’s eat the sandwiches.” Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, “If you do, I won’t go!”