A hard decision

Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions?

Student: Well ... yes and no.

Caution: wet floor

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

A compliment

It’s amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my co-worker, she said, “You look so gorgeous, I didn’t recognize you.”

Mind your spelling

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a ‘C.’” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.