Not clever at all!

Martha is walking in St. James park when she sees her friend Roger playing chess with his cat.

Martha says to Roger, “I can’t believe what I’m seeing, a cat that plays chess. What a clever animal!”

Quick as a flash, Roger replies, “No, Martha, this cat is not clever at all — I’m beating it six games to two.”

Free yacht

A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.

Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with 32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.

Yesterday

A: Looking at your face I know what you had for breakfast.

B: What was it?

A: Eggs.

B: No, that was yesterday.