Not ripe yet

A teacher shows Little Johnny a butterfly and asks, “Well, Johnny, what do we call this butterfly?”

Little Johnny says, “That’s a common brimstone.”

“Come on, Johnny, brimstones aren’t green!”

“Well maybe this one isn’t ripe yet.”

What nonsense

A: I’m still not sure whether to buy this house. It’s really nice but I heard it’s haunted.

B: What nonsense. I’ve lived in the neighborhood for 500 years but I’ve never seen any ghosts here!

Good news, bad news

Johnny: Mom, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Mom: OK, let’s hear the good news first.

Johnny: I got an A in math today.

Mom: That’s good! And now the bad one.

Johnny: That was a lie.