People tend to think that men look for good appearance in a partner, while women value inside qualities more. Researchers from the University of Gottingen surveyed 68,000 women of different sexual orientations and gender identities in 180 countries to find out what’s important when looking for a potential partner.

Tanja Gerlach, from the University of Gottingen, said, “the survey is unique in that women from all over the world — across various sexual orientations and life phases — gave us rich insight into what matters most to them. This allows us to draw a differentiated picture of women’s preferences for long-term and short-term relationships.”

“Kindness” was the most important trait, with nearly 90 percent of women thinking it was a top priority.

Attractiveness was important, but it came secondary to personality traits like “supportiveness” and “intelligence.”

When asked about choosing a long-term mate, 46.1 percent of women of all sexual orientations said that a potential partner’s desire to parent is very important.

For both heterosexual and homosexual women, an attractive smile and attractive eyes were the most important physical features sought in a long-term partner.

Women in Colombia, Mexico and Brazil most frequently stated education was important, while women from countries like the U.K. and Denmark were less likely to find education important in a long-term partner.

Virginia J. Vitzthum, professor of anthropology at Indiana University and the lead researcher on the project, said kindness is “like gravity” — “essential but little-noticed until it’s gone.”

“Given today’s emphasis on looks and wealth, it may surprise you that kindness is a top desirable trait across the world. While it’s fun and nice to feel gorgeous and sexy (and there’s nothing wrong with that) the mistake is thinking these are the most important things,” she said.

Only 2.5 percent of women globally preferred a “very muscular” body type in a long-term partner, with “average” body-types being the most popular, with 44.8 percent of women choosing it. “Fit and athletic” body-types came in second place with 34.8 percent of the vote.

“This is the human brain unconsciously prioritizing what matters, and noticing physical ‘imperfections’ less,” said Vitzthum. “Intrinsic goodness, and shared values, these are what drive real romance.”

Words to Learn 相关词汇

【地心引力】dìxīn yǐnlì gravity the force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth

【健壮的】jiànzhuàng de athletic physically strong, fit, and active

人们通常认为男性在寻找伴侣时比较看中的是外在条件，女性则比较倾向于非外在的部分。来自德国哥廷根大学的研究者开展了一项针对来自180个国家的68000名不同性取向和性别角色的女性的研究。

来自哥廷根大学的塔尼亚•葛拉赫表示：“这项研究的独特之处在于我们研究了世界各地，各个年龄阶段，各种性取向的女性的择偶要求。我们由此可以看到长远也好短期也罢的恋爱关系中女性的择偶偏好。”

“善良体贴”是最重要的特质，几乎90%的女性都把它排在了第一位。

外在条件的确很重要，但是并没有“会支持鼓励人”以及“智慧”这类特质重要。

当问及长期恋爱关系时，46.1%的受访者，无论取向如何，都表示希望对方也会要小孩。

异性恋与同性恋女性都表示，长期关系中，笑容和眼睛好看是最重要的外在条件。

哥伦比亚、墨西哥和巴西等国的受访者最多强调对方的受教育水平的重要性。但英国和丹麦等国家的受访者则认为长期关系中教育水平没那么重要。

印第安纳大学人类学教授、该研究的首席研究者维吉尼亚•韦斯姆表示，“友好善良”这样的特质就像“地心引力”——“必不可少，但不为人们注意，除非缺少了这样的品质。”

她还称：“如今大家都看脸看钱，看到研究结果显示‘善良体贴’是世界各地受访者公认的最重要特质，还是有点惊讶。虽说漂亮性感肯定是好事（追求外在肯定没毛病），但是要是觉得它们是最重要的那就错了。”

在找长期伴侣时，全球只有2.5%的女性喜欢“肌肉虬结”的身材。最受欢迎的还是“中等”身材，投票占比44.8%。其次就是“健康且爱运动”，占比34.8%。

韦斯姆表示：“人脑会无意识地挑选最重要的特质，没那么关注外在的瑕疵。内在美，以及共同的价值观，才是驱动真正浪漫的力量。”(chinadaily.com.cn)