As a Mandarin instructor for five years, I have approached over 2,000 people on the streets in Shenzhen. I’m always looking for potential students. When I first relocated to Shenzhen there were times I felt lost and empty. I was homesick. I became aware that my feelings of loneliness was due to the lack of social interactions. I realized such human connections give us a feeling of happiness.

My number one rule when making new friends is to help them feel comfortable. I never approach people from behind, and I always start a conversation by seeking common interests.

My second rule is to gently approach while making eye contact. I say hello, and ask if there is anything I can help with.

My third rule is to take a seat. I will ask for permission and sit down next to my new friend. The conversations seem to be deep and move in and out through a range of topics.

My fourth rule is to just let people talk. Topics go from feelings of forgiveness to feelings of depression and feelings of joy. People share a variety of life stories with me. More often than not, there are deep feelings attached to those moments, and I can relate.

Over the years I have found a common connection to all humans, and it seems there is only one thing that keeps us from being happy: the belief that we are alone.