New jeans

Wife: I bought new jeans.

Husband: They look great on you.

Wife: They’re still in the bag.

Husband: They will look great on you.

Catching the train

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I cross your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”