New drug

Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.” Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”

Doctor: “Every two hours.”

I barely know her

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her and holding the door for her. Why can’t you do the same?”

The husband says, “Are you mad? I barely know the woman!”