Can I have his food?

A guest is ordering at a restaurant, “Do you think you could bring me what that gentleman over there is having?”

The waiter looks at him sternly, “No sir, I’m sure he intends to eat it himself.”

Doctor jokes

Two friends are talking:

“My doctor told me I must stop playing football.”

“What?! Is he sure? Did he examine you properly?”

“Not really. But he did see me playing.”

Dentist: You need a crown.

Patient: Finally someone who understands me.