People who are emotionally intelligent share some traits in common.

First, they’re curious about people. It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. And they should be a good judge of character. Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness — the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they’re going through.

They are difficult to offend. If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin.

High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos.

You have a robust emotional vocabulary. People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” or “anxious.”

The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. You also disconnect by keeping your stress under control. You limit your caffeine intake. Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, and adrenaline is the source of the fight-or-flight response.

The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt email. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior. High EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.

When making plans with friends or family, saying your schedule is “flexible,” rather than “empty” or “free,” is powerful. You can limit the length or frequency of any activities as well as appear more “in demand,” while not placing any hard limits.

Words to Learn 相关词汇

【唐突的】 tángtū de curt rudely brief or abrupt, as in speech or manner

【占上风】 zhàn shàngfēng get the better of get control over

“高情商”的人有一些共通的特质。

首先，他们对人很好奇。无论是内向型还是外向型，情商高的人对周围的人都很好奇。他们善于判断性格。情商大部分来自于社会意识；读人的能力，了解他们在说什么，了解他们正在经历什么。

他们很难被冒犯到。如果你对自我有一个清楚坚定的认识，那么别人就很难说出或做出一些让你生气的事情。情商高的人自信而开明，继而脸皮够厚。

高情商的人通过控制自己的情绪来控制与讨厌的人的互动。如果他们需要面对一个讨厌鬼，他们会理性地处理这种情况。他们会识别自己的情绪，不会让愤怒或挫败感加剧混乱事态。

你有丰富的情感词汇。高情商的人能掌握他们的情绪是因为他们理解自己的情绪，并且使用大量的情感词汇来做到这一点。虽然许多人可能会简单地将自己描述为感觉“糟糕”，但情商高的人可以准确地判断自己是感到“易怒”、

“沮丧”，还是“焦虑”。

你选择的词越具体，就越能够准确了解自己的情绪，情绪背后的原因是什么，以及如何处理这些情绪。

情商高的人不会有完美主义倾向，因为他们知道完美是不存在的。你也可以通过控制压力来保持疏离。同时你也会限制咖啡因的摄入量。过量饮用咖啡因会释放肾上腺素，而肾上腺素能激起“战斗/逃跑反应”。

战斗/逃跑机制会让人回避理性思考，它激起更快的反应以自我保护。当一只熊在追你时，这是好事儿，但当你回复一封措辞唐突无礼的电子邮件时，该机制就无益了。当咖啡因使你的大脑和身体处于这种极度兴奋的压力状态时，你的情绪会越过你的行为。高情商的人知道咖啡因是个麻烦，因此不会受制于咖啡因。

跟家人或朋友做计划时，最好是说你的安排“有调整空间”，别说

“我没事儿”，也别说“我有空”，这很有用。你可以控制任何活动的时长和频次，同时可以看起来像“在忙”，又不用真的设定什么硬性限制。

(chinadaily.com.cn)