Susan M B Chen, a high school student at Downe House School in Britain, shares with readers her life at this all-girls public school and offers useful information and advice for her peers who intend to study in Britain

Narrow the cultural gap (II)

Dear fellow students,

In China, it may be common and very acceptable for girls to walk holding hands, or boys to have their arms around each other, when walking down the road in conversation. Nonetheless, this would give a much different impression in an English environment: you are automatically assumed to be having a relationship — possibly sexual.

First impressions are very important and by giving any wrong impressions at the start of term would not be a good start!

In many English schools, it is a tradition to have English tea. What many Chinese students may not realize here is that English tea is also a bridge to socializing with friends and greeting teachers informally. You may not love English tea or the extremely sweet desserts, but it is still important to attend these “tea parties” to stay close to your peers and teachers. By immersing yourself in their culture you will narrow the social gap between yourself and your local peers.

I have found that many English students are compassionate and like to share what they know or what they think in a very direct manner. Coming from a Chinese background and having been taught how to be patient with whomever you interact with, I have been brought up to keep complaints to myself and to never criticize others for doing something outrageous.

English students however love to be outspoken, sometimes not taking into account the fact that they have upset others. So if they have said something that you perhaps find offensive, they may not even realize it. You may find after boarding for so many years that you too become outspoken, and that you are able to express yourself no matter how you feel, even if it’s anger.

If you are truly offended by anyone, just be direct about how you feel and many will understand you, apologizing immediately.

Last but not least, respect dining manners. Attending three meals a day with English students in your school dining hall allows you to have the opportunity to observe dining etiquette. Most boarding schools, especially elite public schools, care greatly about behavior. It is an important form of social respect. Sometimes you may find such complicated dining manners unnecessary but do learn to appreciate a different tradition.

I hope you will come to appreciate the cultural differences after spending a few years here in England.

Yours fondly,

Susan M B Chen

Year 13 student at Downe House School