Susan M B Chen, a high school student at Downe House School in Britain, shares with readers her life at this all-girl public school and offers useful information and advice for her peers who intend to study in Britain

    Dear fellow students:

    Sometimes certain peers form a clique to exclude others whom they may not like as much. If you feel excluded, don’t be frustrated, because these groups are not a solid organization and, with things moving on, groups evolve all the time.

    Your group of friends will change as you move through the school years. Your best friends may not be your best friends by the time you leave school. And, as girls become more mature over the years you will find a social hierarchy almost non-existent.

    I think it is better to remain detached from any group so that you can form your own personality as an individual, yet be friends with everyone from different groups.

    At an all-girls school, I find the best way not to participate in all the gossip is to not comment when your peers are talking behind another’s back. Just smile or shrug and walk away.

    I know gossip is quite common in all schools, but it is extremely intense in a boarding environment, especially in an all-girls school.

    Therefore, learn to handle gossiping properly by not becoming involved. I have noticed several students who have not been able to handle gossiping situations well, and struggle to fit into school society.

    These may seem like teenage problems, but in the real world and working world, similar situations do come around. By then, you will be well-prepared with boarding school experience.

    By sharing you can easily make more friends. You definitely don’t want to be classified as a boring and insecure person. When you go out for weekends, take some snacks back to share with your dorm mates. When peers need help, take the initiative and offer to help without having to be asked.

    At boarding school, you are living together under the same roof like sisters or brothers. You are expected to be readily helpful and considerate to your peers. You share almost everything, even class notes. But, please remember to always ask for permission before you borrow anything.

    In a boarding environment one may sometimes forget what is personal property and what is for sharing. Even though it is important to share, it is equally important to respect each other’s personal property.

    In a boarding environment one must learn to deal properly with school peers. It makes a significant difference and will determine the way you bloom as an adult. So please, never undermine the importance of peer relations.

    I would like to share with you just one last simple tip: reach out in a friendly way, and you will always receive a friendly gesture in return.

    Yours fondly,

    Susan M B Chen

    Year 13 student at Downe House School