For the last 10 years, job listing site CareerBuilder has put out a list it calls “The Most Unbelievable Excuses for Calling in Sick.” Last year an employee said he couldn’t come in because his false teeth flew out the window while he was driving down the highway. Another claimed that someone had glued her windows and doors shut so she couldn’t get out of her house. This year the excuses include a worker who said he felt he had to stay at a casino when he had money left after a gambling weekend. Then there was the employee who said she couldn’t come in because she had woken up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it. One from a past survey goes like: An employee said the ghost in his house kept him up all night.

    This year’s excuses were gathered through a Harris Poll that ran from Aug. 11 to Sept. 5, 2014, among 3,000 workers and 2,000 hiring managers.

    The motto of this story: If you really are sick, don’t come to work and spread your germs around the office. But if you just want to stay home, go with, “I’m running a fever,” rather than one of these ridiculous excuses.

    1. I just put a casserole in the oven.

    2. My plastic surgery needed some “tweaking” to get it just right.

    3. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.

    4. I had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with Monday morning.

    5. I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.

    6. I had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where I was.

    7. I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.

    8. I had a gall stone I wanted to heal holistically.

    9. I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.

    10. I accidentally got on a plane.

    Words to Learn

    相关词汇

    【荒唐的】

    huāngtáng de

    ridiculous

    absurd, preposterous, laughable, or contemptible     

    【整体地】

    zhěngtǐ de

    holistically

    relating to the the medical consideration of the complete person, physically and psychologically, in the treatment of a disease

    奇葩请假理由

    过去十年里，美国凯业必达招聘网站都会晒出“最奇葩的请假理由”。去年有位男性员工的请假理由是“在高速上开车时，假牙飞出去了”，还有一位女员工请假理由竟然是“有人把她的门窗用胶水黏住了，出不去”。今年的请假理由包括“周末在赌场赌博钱没用完，要继续赌”，“早上起来心情太好了，不想破坏好心情”等奇怪理由。过往一份调查中还给出了这样的理由：房子里有鬼害他整晚没睡着。

    哈里斯民意调查2014年8月11日到9月5日间从3000名员工、2000名人事经理那里收集了今年的奇葩请假理由。

    这个故事告诉我们：如果你真的病了，那么就别来上班，避免把病菌带给办公室其他人；如果你不想上班，想呆在家里，那么仅仅说“我发烧了”已经足够，不必动用以下奇葩请假借口：

    1. 我把砂锅放进了烤箱。

    2. 我的整形手术需要一点时间“微调”。

    3. 我坐在洗手间脚麻了，站起来时摔倒崴了脚。

    4. 我整个周末都在赌场，现在身上还有钱，周一早上要继续赌。

    5. 我早上起来时心情非常好，不想破坏好心情。

    6. 昨天晚上我有艳遇，现在不知道自己身处何处。

    7. 我在杂货店卡在血压仪里了，出不来。

    8. 我得了胆结石，我想应用整体疗法。

    9. 我把自己的工作服放进微波炉烘干，结果着火了。

    10.我意外上了一架飞机。