Women experience more emotional pain following a breakup than men, researchers have found. However, researchers also said that, over time, they come out stronger — while men simply move on and never fully recover.

According to Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author on the study, the differences boil down to biology.

Women have more to lose by dating the wrong person. “Put simply, women are evolved to invest far more in a relationship than a man,” Morris said.

“A brief romantic encounter could lead to nine months of pregnancy followed by many years of lactation for an ancestral woman, while the man may have ‘left the scene’ literally minutes after the encounter, with no further biological investment.

“It is this ‘risk’ of higher biological investment that, over evolutionary time, has made women choosier about selecting a high-quality mate. Hence, the loss of a relationship with a high-quality mate ‘hurts’ more for a woman.”

Conversely, as men have evolved to compete for the romantic attention of women, the loss of a high-quality mate for a man may not “hurt” as much at first, Morris said.

“The man will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it ‘sinks in’ that he must ‘start competing’ all over again to replace what he has lost — or worse still, come to the realization that the loss is irreplaceable,” he said.

Morris said that breakups are important because most of us will experience an average of three by age 30, with at least one affecting us strongly enough that it substantially decreases our quality of life for weeks or months.

Researchers found that women tend to be more negatively affected by breakups, reporting higher levels of both physical and emotional pain. While breakups hit women the hardest emotionally and physically, women tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger.

Men, on the other hand, never fully recover — they simply move on.

研究人员发现，分手后女性往往会经历比男性更多的情感痛苦。不过研究人员也表示，一段时间之后，女性会变得更加坚强，而男性则会继续生活，却永远无法真正从情伤中走出。

据该研究的主要作者、宾厄姆顿大学研究助理克雷格•莫里斯称，男女的这种差别归结起来是生物学原因。和错误的人在一起，女性失去的会更多。莫里斯说：“简单地说，进化的结果是女性在一段感情中的投入远比男性多”。

“对于女祖先来说，一个简单的浪漫邂逅可能意味着怀胎九月，之后又是数年的哺乳期，而男人也许在邂逅的几分钟后内便‘离开现场’，不再有更多的身体上的投入。”

“正是这种更高的投入‘风险’，使女人刻意选择高质量的伴侣，在进化过程中变得愈加挑剔。因此，终止一段与高质量伴侣的关系让女人更‘受伤’。”

莫里斯说，与女人不同，男人进化为博得女人的关注而相互竞争，对于男人而言，失去高质量的伴侣一开始的“伤害”也许没那么深。他说：“随着男人了解到自己必须重新‘展开竞争’以取代失去的那个人，或者更糟的是，他们意识到自己所失去的人是无可替代的，男人很可能会更深刻、更长久地体会到这种损失。”

莫里斯认为分手很重要，因为我们大多数人在30岁之前平均会分手三次，至少一次会对我们产生强烈影响，大幅降低我们的生活质量，这一过程会持续几周甚至几个月。研究人员发现分手往往会对女人产生更多消极影响，她们反馈的生理和情感痛苦程度更高。虽然分手给女人在心理和生理上都带来更大伤害，但女人往往在分手后更可能完全恢复，并变得更坚强。而男人则永远无法完全走出分手阴影，只能带着情伤继续生活。

    Words to Learn 相关词汇

    【哺乳期】bǔrǔqī lactation the period of milk production

    【相反地】xiāngfǎn de conversely in a contrary or opposite way, on the other hand