A pile of dirty dishes, leaving the toilet seat up and coming home drunk from the pub are just some of the scenarios that can spark blazing rows up and down the country.

    In order to help couples squabble more successfully, leading lawyer Jonathan Herring has penned a book called “How to Argue.” In his entertaining, no-holds-barred guide, the Oxford-based professor reveals everything Brits need to know about bickering and tips on how to emerge triumphant.

    Before bumping heads with a loved one, Jonathan says it’s vital to fully think through what it is you want to say.

    “Make sure you know the essential points you want to make,” he said. “Before starting an argument, think carefully about what it is you are arguing about and what it is you want. This may sound obvious. But it’s critically important.”

    After considering the strengths and weaknesses of your points, Jonathan says the timing and location of your quarrel is crucial.

    “Think carefully before you start to argue: Is this the time; is this the place?” he said.

    Many people lose arguments because they get caught up in the heat of the moment and don’t fully listen to what it is the other person is saying. To be victorious in a feud, Jonathan says you should let the other person do most of the talking.

    “It sounds silly, but you should aim to listen for 75 percent of the argument and only speak for 25 percent of it,” he said. “If you listen intently you’ll be able to beat their line of argument more easily.”

    While being prepared and listening is key, he says that you should always have a “get out” plan. To stop the row “ending in a deadlock” having a “preformed solution” can put an end to any uncomfortable arguments and help you to get what you want.

    Jonathan’s final tip is to try and stay friends with your partner despite the conflict.

    “You’ve got to ask yourself what the end game is when you’re arguing with your partner,” he said. “If you want to embarrass or humiliate them then it’s eventually going to be bad for your relationship.

    “Make sure there’s a way you can make up, a sort of escape plan, so it doesn’t linger longer than it needs to.”

一堆脏盘子，马桶坐便圈没放下，从酒吧喝得烂醉回家，这些事都可能让你俩吵得天翻地覆、一塌糊涂。

业内顶尖律师乔纳森· 赫林写了一部名为《如何讲理》，帮助情侣更好地争吵。

在他的书中，这位牛津教授毫无保留地传授了所有英国人吵嘴需要知道的事以及获胜的诀窍。乔纳森说，在和爱人争吵前要想清楚你想谈的问题是什么。

“你一定要清楚自己想说的关键问

题。开始吵架前，仔细考虑你要吵什么，想要什么结果。这听起来显而易见，但其实这是吵架的关键。”

乔纳森说，考虑好自己观点的优势和劣势后，吵架的时间和地点也十分重要。吵架前仔细想想，时间合适吗？地点合适吗？

很多人在争吵中败下阵来是因为被怒火冲昏了头脑，根本没好好听另一半说了什么。乔纳森说，想要在吵架中获胜，你得让对方畅所欲言。

“这听起来很傻，但你要做到用75%的时间听对方说，仅用25%的时间表达自己的意见。如果你认真听，就能轻松辩驳对方的论点。”

虽然充分准备和认真听都十分重要，乔纳森说，你还得准备个“结束争吵”的计划。为防止让争吵陷入僵局，最好事先准备一个解决方案，这样可以结束不愉快的争吵，还能帮你获得想要的结果。乔纳森给出的最后一条建议是，尽管与另一半发生了冲突，但仍要保持你们的友谊。

“问问自己和另一半争吵后想要什么结果。如果你想羞辱对方或让Ta感到尴

尬，这将损害你们的关系。”

“你要确保有办法弥合你们的关系，一种金蝉脱壳的办法，让这一页快点翻过去。”

Words to Learn 相关词汇

【局面】júmiàn scenario an imagined or projected sequence of events, especially any of several detailed plans or possibilities

【拌嘴】bànzuǐ bicker engage in petulant or peevish argument